Hell Week

So...hell week. Lemme just say, o my fucking god.
It's only day two and my brain feels like its going to fall out the back of my head. I could possibly have a mental snap and go Rambo on everyone for ruining my life. Whatever though, I've made a discovery...one that could help me for years to come.
Sometimes you just don't have time to do your homework, its the honest truth. I normally set a lot of store by getting my shit done and getting it done right, because I'd honestly just rather do it and be done than have it hanging over my head for a week, but circumstances change, and desperate times call for desperate measures. Long story short, I find myself in a crunch for time, having to devote every hour of my life outside of school to work or the play. This is what I have found. When attempting to get out of homework you must do the following:
1) Build your back story: Drop subtle hints to your friends within earshot of the teacher that you will be unimaginably busy and you won't have time to do anything wtih them.
2) Look the part: Don't look pretty, because pretty people get sleep. Pretty people have time to get dressed and do their hair. People who can't do their homework don't have time to do their hair either. It's just common sense, don't blow your cover.
3) Zone out from time to time: If its real, more power to you, because you could legitimately have a reason to not do your homework, but if not, no worries, a good zoneout can always be faked. The trick lies in coming out of it. You must be surprised, but not jumpy. Look at the teacher who pulls you out of it with a dazed look, close your eyes for just a second, shake your head VERY SLIGHTLY and say these exact words, "I'm sorry what did you say?"It seems simple, but it's such a delicate thing, you must always have the act down.
4) Be prepared to grovel and demean yourself: Pleaing for mercy is not below you. Dont be sly and try to pass it off like normal. Go to them and say, hey I'm sorry but I didn't do it. Spend exaxtly seven seconds with something like, it's been really busy with the play/we've got the championship coming up/my mom's really sick etc. But DO NOT go into detail. Be vague, don't invite questions unless you have a good story and NEVER sound like you're making an excuse. Be straight up like, yo, didn't do it, getcha next time.
5) If all else failes...cry: Boys should be careful with this one, and even girls should watch out and keep it lowkey, but by all means, if you're cornered and the teacher isn't giving you an inch of slack, don't hesitate to pull the emotional card on them. Don't break down, no wailing or major waterworks. A single tear down the cheek is enough to melt the heart and grant you an extra day or so on the work. Couple it with a phrase of helplessness such as, "I'm just so overwhelmed" "I'm so sorry, I'll get it done, I just know I will" "I screwed up, I can't believe I forgot about the test!" All of these things indavidually will get you your final goal, but as I said, NEVER OVERDO IT, especially with the crying.
Obviously I've given you a lot to think about here, don't do it all at once or your brain will be on the floor next to mine. How's that song go? Chippin' around, kick my brains on the floor. Good one. Anyway, I'm going to bed now, don't bother me until sunday and you might live to see thanksgiving. Seriously though, take the advice of a girl who deals with actors on a daily basis. Stay out of our faces during Hell week.